I'm Pregnant!!!

I just know that this will be the most read, or at least most opened blog I have sent to date. But let me set the record straight-I am not pregnant with a baby, but this email is in response to the questions that I have been asked, or maybe you've been asked about Girls with Attitude! I, like the pregnant woman don't know all the answers, I just know that God is at work.

God is still birthing GWA in me. By that I mean that it is not yet born to completion.

Just as a woman who is pregnant, I can't really tell you yet what GWA is, but I can tell you some things it is not.

So how does one get pregnant? We know that answer, by not using protection. Search yourself, are you using protection? Is your heart so guarded, have you built up walls that God could not penetrate and birth something in you? If you've been hurt in the past maybe you are afraid to open yourself up to the Lord's touch, to his love, and you just think it's not worth the risk.

I made a decision to bare my life and my soul to the Lord, and I told Him that everything was up for grabs, that I did not want to hold on to anything too tightly that I would miss what He might want to birth from me. Now does God always pick the best momma's to give birth? No! But He in His vast wisdom knows what he is doing, and I have to trust in that.

Having given myself freely to the Lord, and asking Him to do what He will in my life, that means risking morning sickness (those days when you just don't want to get out of bed) stretch marks, and a painful birth. I am willing to share with him to birth this vision. I do recall a time last year when I heard the Lord speak to me, as only he can, and I heard Him say to me "you are chosen".

Now that the egg is fertilized, and I am pregnant with the vision I can tell you that this precious little baby is not an "it"; GWA is not religious, but it is a ministry. I don't know yet the gender of the baby (OK, I'm guessing it's a girl) but I know that GWA is about loving people. There are things I don't know, and then there are things that I do know.

I don't know how much the baby will weigh, but I do know it will come to full term. I don't know how big GWA will be, it may be a single birth, twins or triplets, it may some day cover the nation, but as it is just been conceived I don't know how big the blessing is.

God has birthed this vision of GWA in me, and it is something that no one else quite understands. There are always questions, aren't you past the age of being used by the Lord, isn't your time past? Have you forgotten your past? and then there are many who are excited. They look forward with anticipation to "seeing" the baby, they've seen my involvement before, and they've enjoyed the fruits of my labor. But again, this is hard for them to understand when they don't feel the stirring in their soul, they don't feel the stretching, the cramping, the discomfort, or the pains of childbirth. Only God knows when the baby will be at full term, it is all in HIS timing.

In the meantime I need a lot of nursemaids. Some "girls" who will walk the floors with me, comfort me through the sleepless nights, put up with my terrible mood swings and cravings, share with me when I am emotional, pray for me, and just be a friend and listen through the process. Anyone willing to take that journey with me? Think back in your mind and remember the last pregnant woman you came across, or remember yourself when you were pregnant. Do you dare take on this task?

Everybody loves a baby, they want to hold it, cuddle it, and love it, but no one wants to get up in the middle of the night to take care of it. No one wants to change the dirty diapers, no one likes the smell of spit up. But the one who births doesn't seem to mind, or even notice.

Honestly all babies are not pretty, but the one giving birth just knows it will be the most beautiful creature they've ever seen. And the Father, though distant, not quite as attached, knows that he has been a part and without him there would be nothing. This is his heir, his namesake.

I promise that when the baby comes I will let you share in it. I will let you hold it, nurture it, feed it and even carry it at times. But right now it is a personal journey, it is my time to share with God in creation. Unless you've felt that fire in your belly-you just don't understand.

Have you ever felt you HAD TO do something? I have to do this, as much as I have to breath. I did not plan the pregnancy, I did not plant the vision, but I am willing to carry it to full term.

The one thing I do know is I will not abort the vision that God has placed in me. I know it will be inconvenient, there will be sleepless nights, there will be discomfort, but as difficult as it may be, I will not abort.

If you dare, ask God to birth something new in you!!

The scripture tells us that "He who began a good work in you will finish it unto completion"....thank you for coming along on the journey.

Now I must go share the contents of this blog with my husband Dan lest he open his inbox tomorrow at work and end up on the floor.

When you've done it to the least of these.....

I trust all is well as we enter into the month of February, the month of LOVE! So when is the last time you loved someone who is considered unlovable?

Let me tell you about our latest encounter. So during our 21 day fast we felt God calling us to begin to minister to our community of 300 people, which means we leave our home church full of friends we love to move to a small little village church of the nicest 35 people you've ever met.

So this Sunday was our second Sunday at the little church. I noticed a little girl clinging to some people, and you could just tell she was very needy. Maybe it was the dirty t-shirt and unkept hair, but you could tell she was a little girl pretty much raising herself.

At the end of the service she stormed out the door, refused a ride home, and said she was never coming back because someone hurt her feelings. Haven't we all had our feelings hurt by church people in the past? So as we were driving home we drove right past her, we stopped and asked if she wanted a ride home but she refused. So I decided that I would walk home with her. Very noble of me, but in the back of my mind I was thinking-if you befriend this little girl she will drive you crazy, she will know where you live, she will be parked on your front door step. But it was a beautiful day and I decided to take the chance.

So as I got out of the car and began to walk with her (in my brand new boots, no less, that were killing my feet) her first question to me was why did you get out of the car. I told her that I just felt she was upset and thought that maybe I could help. At that comment she just took off running. Oh great, here I am walking home, my feet are killing me, I don't have a cell phone to call for a ride, a lot of good that act of kindness did me!

The next act was odd, she was carrying a box of valentines, and dropped one, of course I assumed it was for me. The valentine read "Best Friends". As she watched me read the valentine her pace slowed down and she waited for me. She proceeded to tell me that she was really upset because her cat she'd had since she was 2 years old got hit by a car yesterday. You see not only did she love the cat, but it belonged to her mother whom she only gets to see every other weekend.

Well the little girl ended up walking me home, came into the house to play with a couple of the grandkids, and stayed for lunch. She commented what a big lunch, and how we had A LOT of chicken. My heart was a little sad when she left, and a scripture kept going over in my head.....Jesus was speaking and said "For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home.....when you've done it unto the least of these, you've done it unto me".

Oh yeah, and I forgot one detail. The pastor of the little church sent me an email this week and told me that, not even knowing us, she had sat in the park next door to our house and prayed for help. While looking at our house she prayed to the Lord and said "if those people are supposed to me at my church send them, if not bless them wherever they are".

How awesome to be exactly where God wants you to be....it's a good feeling.

As always if you need anything-just call or email, I am here to serve the Lord through serving you.

In HIS Service!!