How do you ever begin to share with someone about how your dreams have come true?
How about we start at the beginning…in January 2002 Dan & I signed up for Leadership classes at our church. Towards the beginning of summer I felt God tugging at my heart to start a women’s small group. I argued all the points.
1.I’m the oldest of 5 girls and I do not like women.
2.I do not like church ladies, they are mean.
3.It’s the beginning of summer, and no one will come.
Needless to say, God won the argument. I still remember going into the office of the small groups pastor and sharing with he and his secretary how God was calling me to start a women’s small group. As I sat there sobbing, telling them this was not what I wanted, I declared to them that I would invite who I wanted in my group, I would only have 12 people, and that I was doing this under duress. So, here we go. The women I invited did not come, and women showed up who I had never met. I remember thinking “why is she here, I don’t even know her.”
In the next 2 years over 200 women came through that “small” group. I watched women’s lives totally transformed. I watched women from many different lifestyles come to the Lord, I watch women as even their physical features changed. I remember going through some of those sessions and feeling like a funnel, words would come out of mouth and I would think “where did that come from?” The next day of course I would get an email from one of the ladies who said I had spoken right to their hearts, secrets that no one even knew. WOW! What an honor to actually speak for God.
Well about this same time I was struggling at home with a son who was an alcoholic. He had moved out of the house and was living with a girl. The summer of 2004 I received a telephone call at work from my son. His question was how do you feel about being a grandma. I quickly dismissed him by saying I was at work and would need to call him back. I immediately went to the Lord. OK God, this is a big one, I need some help here. When I returned the call to my son I shared. Only God can make a child, the Bible says God knit us together in our mother’s womb, God already knows that child, and God has a plan for that child and I just want to be part of the plan.
At the same time I heard God speak to me and tell me that my ministry was now to my family. Sad to say, but there were women who could not understand why I would leave a successful women’s ministry. I heard things like “oh she’s just having her first grandbaby and she has gone off the deep end. Over the next 3 year we had 8 grandchildren. Some from quite sad situations, but all of them a blessing. And just let me say that alcoholic son is now married with 4 children, a successful business owner and on a ministry team at his church. Always listen to the voice of God when he speaks.
So in 2007 God informed me that it was time to go back to ministering to women. A year prior he had given me the words “Girls with Attitude” but I was not quite sure what that meant. At the time I was leading an all women sales team and thought maybe that’s what He was saying.
As I started this new women’s small group He made it clear to me that this was Girls with Attitude, and that it would be based off of Philippians 2:5 which says we are to have the attitude of Christ. Besides, inside us women are all girls.
We started the small group, we had Bible studies, we rode motorcycles, and we were enjoying our time together.
One of the women in the group was a counselor at a residential treatment center for teens, and she asked if she could bring some of the teen girls to group. How awesome to see 14 year old girls in a room with women 85, all sharing the Word and about the love of Christ. (We met at a senior living facility)
As I listened to those stories of horrific lives in such a long life my heart just went out to those girls & women.
From that time I began to mentor young women, some even spending weekends at my home. I started getting call at all hours of the night, some nights there was no sleep because there was a need. I had girls hand me razor blades because they had decided to give up cutting, I’ve held and consoled women as they told stories of a recent rape, I gone out in the middle of the night because a girl was in the fetal position and they didn’t know what to do with her, I’ve snuggled in bed with grown women because they are afraid of the dark, I’ve driven them home from bars because they’re too drunk to drive, I’ve cried over miscarriages, I’ve gone to gay bars, knowing all along that I was exactly where God had called me to be. And I have loved them.
One week in 2009 I got 3 calls from 3 different women needing a place to live. One was and 18 year old with a 10 month old baby who was getting ready to check into the Y, another was a girl coming out of detox (you can’t send her back to the crack house) and another who had just been evicted from her home. I declared to my husband that we needed to get a house. Then began the search for a solution.
Fast forward-2010 I received a telephone call in which a women says “I hear you deal with prostitutes.” Ok, as I listened. It was a director of a ministry to the homeless who shared that they had several who came into their ministry, and they would like to work with us.
Over the next couple of months it was amazing the group of people that God pulled together. Doctors, psychologist, ministers, people who all had the heart for hurting women. I shared with them my dream of a home and their excitement grew as they had recognized that there was no such facility like that in the city. I declared that I felt stuck, and that I could not move forward until I had a physical house. The director of the homeless ministry piped in and informed us that they had a 2 bedroom apartment that we could use for that ministry, and the story begins.
We spent the next 3-4 months working to make the place “a home” for women who were hurting. We had people donate furniture, paint, time, services, money, and we finally had our open house in December 2010. Welcome to Birdie’s Place Crisis Center.
Our first girl came to the Crisis Center in January of 2011. I’m not quite sure who was more touched, the girl (we will call Angel) or the staff called in to help her. Let me share with you the most awesome weekend, and the story of several dreams come true.
I got a call on a Thursday from a girl I had been working with to help her overcome her drug addiction. She was 30 days clean and had a prospect for Birdie’s Place that she wanted me to meet. Panic sat in…..I don’t know what I’m doing; I’m not ready-HELP! If you’ve ever been pregnant it doesn’t matter how overdue you are when that labor comes for real you think “I’m not ready.” I call my pastor and tell her I am ready to freak out, and I have no clue what I am doing. Thank God for wisdom from Godly leaders. She reassured me that I was anointed, that God had called me to this task, and that I was indeed ready. As she prayed with me I felt the peace of God fall on me. I went and met the girl, and we decide that should she choose to go I will pick her up on Saturday morning.
Saturday morning I picked up a small, frail 100 pound 19 year old heroin addict. As we get in the car she was full of questions, it’s not like jail is it? I can leave if I want right? I assured her she would be fine. I talked with her as we grocery shopped about the process once we got there. I shared with her that we would complete some paperwork and that I would be taking some photographs. I wanted to document her face, her arms where she had been shooting up, and any identifying tattoos or marks. I shared with her that I had a friend, someone I went to school with, church with, sang in the choir with, a friend that I spent many summer days with on the softball diamond with dying in a crack house. I shared that my friend’s mother had to go into that crack house and identify her daughter, and that I never wanted another mother to go through that pain. As we left the grocery store I decided that we would drive by the house that my friend died in. We pull up beside the house and just looked. Me, I was remembering a beautiful vibrant friend who died in that despicable place.
I decided that we would circle around the block. On this entire street there are only 3-4 legally inhabited homes. The others are boarded over, no door or windows, or being taken over by squatters. As stopped in the middle of the road I told Angel to look around. I just wanted her to see that if she did not change her life this is what she had to look forward to.
Angel had been clean for 20 days, but the first evening we met she used. As we got to the crisis center she met several new people, to which she was embraced, fed and tucked in for a little nap. Although she really did not have to go through a detox, she was feeling some of the affects.
She was informed before coming in that she would be required to attend church on Saturday evening. We arrived at church to lively music, and a warm atmosphere. The minister shared how we could dare to dream, and then a little about being an orphan spirit. As the ministry time began around the altar I asked if Angel would like to participate. As we stood and waited for our turn in a small voice she asked “what if I don’t fall down?” I assured her that it was not necessary and that by no means should she fall down just because she thought someone expected her to. She shared that her stomach was getting upset, and feeling nervous. I informed her that she was a living spirit that would live forever and that her body is temporary and just houses that spirit. I shared that her spirit is located in the abdomen part of your body, and what you are feeling as butterflies is your spirit recognizing God spirit, and that her spirit is excited about knowing that God is near. As the minister came to Angel he looked her in the eyes, and then he embraced her with the touch of the Father. As he held her they both wept. She remained on the floor silent for some time as she soaked in the presence of the love of the heavenly Father.
Prior to our return to the crisis center we stopped by a ministry that feeds the homeless. As she sat there she listened as she learned that there are those who live in tents, in the cold with nothing more than what they carry on their backs.
Upon return to the center she watched a video of another girl, a success story of a girl delivered from eating disorders, cutting, alcoholism, and sexual sin, and how Christ had made the difference in her life.
The next morning as we did our morning devotions I directed her to the scripture in John 1:12 “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. 13 They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.” I told her that she was now a new creature, and no longer the old Angel. She wrote in her journal how the new Angel is not addicted to heroin, the new Angel does not have sex with men for money, the new Angel is a good mother, does not put anything above her son. She gets it!
Following devotions we went on a field trip as we delivered meals to the elderly as part of Meals on Wheels. It was great for Angel to realize that she could minister and contribute to society.
After a time of service she was treated to her first ever experience of a Japanese steak house. To see the wide eyes as the flame is lit, and the excitement of watching her meal cooked before her. We were met by some friends as we ate lunch. Following the lunch they gave me a charm that they wanted to be given to Angel as she departed the crisis center.
Once back at the crisis center we were met with another new friend. This friend walked Angel through the SOZO program. It is amazing how someone so young and unlearned has no difficulty hearing and seeing God. She was not tainted by religion, so when instructed to ask God what he thinks of her, she shared that God told her He thinks she’s intelligent, and can get through anything. When instructed to close her eyes and ask Jesus where He is she shares that he is standing beside her. She shared that she saw a dividing wall with her and Jesus walking hand in hand on one side, and darkness and bad people on the other side. She then notices that she and Jesus are walking towards the light. She immediately opened her eyes in terror and asked if that meant that she was going to die. We shared with her that in the Word Jesus is referred to as the Light, and that he picture was a good thing. You see Angel had a fear of death. Twice in the past year Angel had died from drug overdoses, and brought back to life. She also shared that several months back she had a dream that she was laying in a casket. She saw her son being carried to the casket by his father, and the baby crying, reaching for his mother. We shared with her that we felt that was a warning dream, and really more like a vision of reality should she choose not to change her lifestyle.
As the day progressed several other people came in to share their stories, and how Christ had taken the ashes of their lives and created something of beauty. She listened intently as a woman of 40 something shared how she had run away from home at the age of 14, and how she had lived her life, nearly 30 years as a prostitute and dancer. It broke my heart, as I apologized to her in tears for not being there, and not being able to help her through those years. She assured me that we are there now, and that we will make a difference. She had the love of Christ, AA, and some loving women had helped her as she now married speaks and ministers to hurting women. To God be the Glory!
The last day had lots of surprises in store for all. The first new friend to come in that morning was a, what I thought to be a beautiful 40something, sweet, passive “church lady.” She shared with us her college days of alcohol, sexual partners, and how she had chosen to have a total of 3 abortions. Of how even when she shared with her husband, and others in a support group she lied about how many. She shared of how she ultimately became honest with herself and everyone else, and repented of the murder of her three precious babies, and how she now ministers to hurting women @ the pregnancy distress center, and survivors of abortion.
As the day progress Angel was blessed as someone ministered to her through a manicure and pedicure-her first ever. We giggled as her feet were tickled, and we oohed and awed over her new bright pink polish. In our world pink goes with everything!
Angel expressed after seeing the video of the GWA success story that she too wanted to make a video and share her story. I shared with her as she departed we would have her sign a release so we could share her story and pictures, and as a reward for her 20th birthday, 5 months away, we would put her story to film. And yes, we realized to an addict 5 months is a long term goal. I also assured her that we would change her name so she could remain anonymous. I can’t remember but I suggested a name, she quickly piped up that she wanted her name to be “Angel”; I don’t remember have any other thought besides “that’s a stupid name.” A few minutes passed and I gasped. I remember the angel charm that I was to give her upon her departure. I walked into the kitchen to meet the one who had given me the charm and asked if she had heard what name was chosen. As we looked into each other’s eyes she acknowledged that yes she had heard, and had been asking God if she should share her story. I informed her that I had not yet given the necklace, and that this was her sign from God to tell her story.
We gathered in the living room and I said you have one more story before you leave, she asked who, and I pointed in the direction of our friend. She quickly responded with “I didn’t know you had a story.”
Angel’s hair was still wet from her shower so we asked her to go get the blow dryer. I watched with such honor as her hair was blown dry with such love that only a mother can give. Once dry she was told to get the hairbrush so that her hair could be brushed. I watch as the story began a story of a mother with 2 sons and a daughter, and a hot summer day some 15 years ago. The mother told of a day spent at the pool and a drive home, you see mom pulled out into traffic and a tiny 4 year girl was thrown from the car. The mother told of how a beautiful little girl, with the same hair color and texture died from that tragic accident, and how had she lived would be the same age as our “Angel”. She told of how she had sold and gotten rid of all of her daughters belongings except the forgotten angel charm that now hung on the necklace she was being given as a reminder of her weekend. The mother shared how prior to her daughter dying she had been told by the Lord how she would be the mother to many daughters, but that at the death of her she had buried that dream, but that this young girl was indeed her angel and had taught her to dream again. As Angel rose to give the mother a hug, the mother hesitated, but asked instead that she sit on her lap. I watched as a mother and daughter reunited, and heard the mother say that for one brief moment she felt as if she were holding her own daughter again.
As the day came to a close we treated her again to an experience of a meal in a place she’d never been. She wept at the thought of going back to her world. I assured her, that in that 3 short days she had been given the keys to the kingdom, and that it was now up to her to walk the walk. She was given a list of the 10-15 people that she had met in 3 days, and the plan of action for the next several months.
So as you’re out there on your way and you see an angel, she may have just visited Birdie’s Place Crisis Center.
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