Holidays @ Hazel's House

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! Thanksgiving at Hazel's House was more than we could ever imagine. Earlier that week we had 44 people from the block who had confirmed that they would be attending our community Thanksgiving dinner.


We were more than excited when 100+ came through our doors that day. Everyone from the prositutes, to the drug boys, to the families on the block. We're thankful for everyone who donated food items, money, cooked and/or served the meal. Following the dinner at the house we loaded up 15 dinners and took it to the homeless camp.
Our focus has now moved on to Christmas.

Christmas

We will be providing gift baskets for the 25 families on the block. These baskets will be filled with Christmas dinner items, such as ham, potatoes, can vegetables, rolls, fresh fruit, milk and other goodies. Additionally, the baskets will include hats, gloves and socks that we have collected. Having the room to store the goods for the baskets is difficult at Hazel’s House as we have limited space and only one refrigerator. However, your donation helps us gather the items and complete basket for a family. If you are interested we can provide you with the names of the family you sponsor so you they can be lifted up in prayer throughout the Holiday season and year.

Additionally, Hazel’s House of Hope is a gathering place throughout the week for kids, teens, and young adults. We would like to provide wholesome activities for these gatherings. If you would like to donate books, DVD movies, games, cards, karaoke machine, or other electronic gaming systems, we would be most appreciative.

Hazel's House is possible because of generous donations from friends like you. Hazel’s House of Hope is located in the south end of Columbus at 477 E. Morrill Avenue. Hazel’s is a community house that shares the Love of Christ through serving the community and meeting practice needs. They offer services such as free clothing, free food, counseling, job opportunities, group meetings, Bible studies, even after school tutoring, all in a place where they will not be judged. This house is about meeting the needs to the "least of these". It is founded by Cindi Gremling, CEO and founder of Girls with Attitude! You can learn more about Hazels’ House of Hope by visiting us at www.1GWA.org or on Facebook.

GWA as a 501c3 not profit oraganization your donations are tax deductible.

Girls with Attitude! Partnership

Are you blessed, and is your heart touched by what is going on with Girls with Attitude!? Please consider being a partner...keep reading.


Celebrating, Empowering & Mentoring Girls of all ages.

Girls with Attitude! is all about searching for, rescuing, and restoring wayward “girls “and meeting their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. We are committed to restoring the lives of the broken hearted and are making great strides. When we meet people’s physical and emotional needs, they open their hearts to the Gospel.

Just six months ago we were able, with support from One Way Street Ministries to open Birdie’s Place Crisis Center, which is a two bedroom apartment located on the west side of Columbus, Ohio. It has been amazing to see the way that God works in the lives of the women who have been in contact with the center. In March of this year, in cooperation with My Sister’s Wish, we were able to open our first sober living facility “My Sister’s Place” which is a four bedroom house located in the south end of Columbus, Ohio. And by the end of 2011 we will acquire more homes to assist women in their efforts to become sober and independent. The average cost to house and feed a girl is $100 per week.

Our newest house, Hazel’s House of Hope is located in the south end of Columbus, Ohio right across the street from the crack house that my friend died in. This street comes fully loaded with prostitutes as well as drug addicts. This house and all the tens of thousands of dollars of renovations have been generously donated. Once the renovations are completed, GWA will be responsible for the continued maintenance, utilities, furnishings, etc.

Amazingly my sweet husband, Dan, has agreed to move into this house with me this summer so we can become part of the neighborhood, reach out to the prostitutes and drug addicts, and be missionaries in the south end of Columbus, Ohio. My vision is to set on the front porch and befriend the girls conducting their business from the corner, have Bible School for the kids, and block parties. I want them to walk onto the property and know that “God lives here”. I want them to see that God is alive and well, and that He loves them, that He knows them, and that He has not forgotten them. The next shooting on the block, or the next time someone is sick I want them to come running to our house for help.

But I can’t do this alone. That’s why I am asking you to partner with me. Partnership is several people joining together to accomplish a task or meet a need that’s greater than what they could do on their own.

Please pray about our work and consider partnering with us. Your monthly support of any amount helps make it possible for us to house and feed, and meet the needs of many girls each week. If you can’t become a partner right now, consider giving a one-time gift.

Because we understand that it’s a big decision to donate your money to us, we are committed to be transparent about our financial decisions. GWA has a CPA, who oversees all accounting, and processes, including filing all IRS documents annually, in accordance with the IRS guidelines. GWA, being a 501c3 non-profit organization and all donations are tax deductible. Receipts are mailed to all donors January following the donation.

Becoming a Partner is easy! Simply go to Girlswithattitude.org and click to submit your gift or call me @ 614-205-5473. Girlswithattitude.org is a secure way to give using Paypal. As always you may mail a check to Girls with Attitude! PO Box 614, Grove City OH 43123. Being a partner you will receive periodic emails and updates to keep you inform of our partnership progress.

If you would like to donate non-perishable food, clothing, furniture, or other house hold items, or have a heart to volunteer, please contact me cindi@girlswithattitude.org.

Thank you for partnering with us and sharing with those in need. Together you and I will make a difference in changing the world one girl at time by rescuing wayward girls and loving them until they ask why.

You are blessed to be a blessing!

Sincerely,
Cindi Gremling, founder



.

A Day in the Life-Girls with Attitude!

What a day of mixed emotions, please allow me to share just a bit of it with you.
First let me share the excitement and joy of the day. This was the beginning of the rehab on what we are anticipating will be our 30 day house, the “Grandma’s House” that we have been waiting and watching for.
About 6 months ago I was asked by a friend of over thirty years if she purchased the house she grew up in would I put girls in it. My answer, of course was YES! I had shared with her a little about Girls with Attitude! and our mission to “change the world-one girl at a time”. There are times in a person’s life when a small spark can set a heart on fire, and I feel that’s what happened with my friend.
The day was full of emotions as two generations came together to begin the clean up process. A daughter who remembered slumbering in the safety of a warm home with loving parents, and a grandson who recounted spending the night and swimming in the pool at grandma and grandpas house.
Even as I sit here some 4 hours after I left the place, the smells from the house still permeates my nostrils. Not the smell of a rose bush or lilacs, but the smell of urine, and feces both animal and human.
This house is located on what was once a tree lined street that held the blue collar, hard working men and women who left the Appalachian Mountains to find a better life. Today there remain a few trees on the street, but you are more likely to find boarded up houses, and drug paraphernalia lining the streets.
Each time I walked out the door of the house, or looked up from cleaning the yard my eyes were drawn across the street to the house on the corner. Each glance was a reminder of my friend, the one I went to school with, sang in the church choir with, played softball with, the one who died in that very house of a drug overdose. My heart aches as I miss my friend.
I watched the corner house throughout the day. As part of intake for Birdie’s Place Crisis Center I bring the girls past this house, and share with them that this is the house my friend died in. To this day it still pricks my heart as I hear them share that they too have been inside that very same house, but they escaped the fate of my friend.
I watched all day long as “visitors” would pull in front of the home, go inside for 5 minutes and return to their car. I also watched as children played in that same front yard. And my heart ached.
Earlier in the day as I headed to the house I drove down the main thoroughfare while rain covered my front windshield. I said a silent prayer as I watched a woman pushing a man down the street in a wheelchair; not a pleasant day to be taking a stroll, but I felt there was some place that they needed to be. Imagine my surprise when later they showed up at the corner house.
I shared with my husband last week, in one of my weaker moments that a sane person would never do this ministry. A 51 year old woman, wife and grandmother of 10 should be ready to slow down, smell the roses and learn to knit. This has to be a calling, a strength from a higher power, a God given destiny, because on the streets, in the mire and muck is exactly where I feel the closest to God. It’s where I feel I am fulfilling my destiny.
As we were inside cleaning out the garbage left in the house I felt so compelled to pray for the people who had been in the house. No one ever sets out in life deciding to be a drug addict, prostitute or anything other than a successful, upstanding part of society. But we all make choices. I must admit the ones I prayed for the most were the children. Where is the child who played with that rattle? Where is the child who obviously napped under the basement steps? Who drank from this sippy cup? Please dear God protect their hearts and minds, protect them from the choices that are being made for them.
As the afternoon cleared up and we worked out in the yard along walk 4 sisters who stopped and shared that they had once lived in our house. Twins aged 9, and 11 year old and a 12 year old. We listened as they shared that they had lived on this street all of their lives, and how their grandma had lived on this street. They shared about shootings on the street, and about relatives who were now in jail. As they walked away I thought “those are just a few girls with attitude, the very reason you have called us to this place, “for such a time as this”.

Even with the view in the natural eye, I look around and see beauty. I see rose bushes once pruned by the grandmother, and houses where babies were born, where families lived and loved. I walk into our house and see a front room to welcome guest, and a country cottage kitchen full of love and hot meals. Hope and faith are not easily squelched.
And as I sit here exhausted from the physical and emotional toil of the day I ponder, and wonder if I will ever decide that I am ready to learn to knit.
Girls with Attitude! is a 501c3 non profit organization, and all donations are tax deductible. www.1gwa.org

PO Box 614, Grove City OH, 43123

The Keys to the Kingdom

YOU HAVE THE KEYS TO THE KINGDOM



How do you ever begin to share with someone about how your dreams have come true?

How about we start at the beginning…in January 2002 Dan & I signed up for Leadership classes at our church. Towards the beginning of summer I felt God tugging at my heart to start a women’s small group. I argued all the points.

1.I’m the oldest of 5 girls and I do not like women.

2.I do not like church ladies, they are mean.

3.It’s the beginning of summer, and no one will come.

Needless to say, God won the argument. I still remember going into the office of the small groups pastor and sharing with he and his secretary how God was calling me to start a women’s small group. As I sat there sobbing, telling them this was not what I wanted, I declared to them that I would invite who I wanted in my group, I would only have 12 people, and that I was doing this under duress. So, here we go. The women I invited did not come, and women showed up who I had never met. I remember thinking “why is she here, I don’t even know her.”

In the next 2 years over 200 women came through that “small” group. I watched women’s lives totally transformed. I watched women from many different lifestyles come to the Lord, I watch women as even their physical features changed. I remember going through some of those sessions and feeling like a funnel, words would come out of mouth and I would think “where did that come from?” The next day of course I would get an email from one of the ladies who said I had spoken right to their hearts, secrets that no one even knew. WOW! What an honor to actually speak for God.

Well about this same time I was struggling at home with a son who was an alcoholic. He had moved out of the house and was living with a girl. The summer of 2004 I received a telephone call at work from my son. His question was how do you feel about being a grandma. I quickly dismissed him by saying I was at work and would need to call him back. I immediately went to the Lord. OK God, this is a big one, I need some help here. When I returned the call to my son I shared. Only God can make a child, the Bible says God knit us together in our mother’s womb, God already knows that child, and God has a plan for that child and I just want to be part of the plan.

At the same time I heard God speak to me and tell me that my ministry was now to my family. Sad to say, but there were women who could not understand why I would leave a successful women’s ministry. I heard things like “oh she’s just having her first grandbaby and she has gone off the deep end. Over the next 3 year we had 8 grandchildren. Some from quite sad situations, but all of them a blessing. And just let me say that alcoholic son is now married with 4 children, a successful business owner and on a ministry team at his church. Always listen to the voice of God when he speaks.

So in 2007 God informed me that it was time to go back to ministering to women. A year prior he had given me the words “Girls with Attitude” but I was not quite sure what that meant. At the time I was leading an all women sales team and thought maybe that’s what He was saying.

As I started this new women’s small group He made it clear to me that this was Girls with Attitude, and that it would be based off of Philippians 2:5 which says we are to have the attitude of Christ. Besides, inside us women are all girls.

We started the small group, we had Bible studies, we rode motorcycles, and we were enjoying our time together.

One of the women in the group was a counselor at a residential treatment center for teens, and she asked if she could bring some of the teen girls to group. How awesome to see 14 year old girls in a room with women 85, all sharing the Word and about the love of Christ. (We met at a senior living facility)

As I listened to those stories of horrific lives in such a long life my heart just went out to those girls & women.

From that time I began to mentor young women, some even spending weekends at my home. I started getting call at all hours of the night, some nights there was no sleep because there was a need. I had girls hand me razor blades because they had decided to give up cutting, I’ve held and consoled women as they told stories of a recent rape, I gone out in the middle of the night because a girl was in the fetal position and they didn’t know what to do with her, I’ve snuggled in bed with grown women because they are afraid of the dark, I’ve driven them home from bars because they’re too drunk to drive, I’ve cried over miscarriages, I’ve gone to gay bars, knowing all along that I was exactly where God had called me to be. And I have loved them.

One week in 2009 I got 3 calls from 3 different women needing a place to live. One was and 18 year old with a 10 month old baby who was getting ready to check into the Y, another was a girl coming out of detox (you can’t send her back to the crack house) and another who had just been evicted from her home. I declared to my husband that we needed to get a house. Then began the search for a solution.

Fast forward-2010 I received a telephone call in which a women says “I hear you deal with prostitutes.” Ok, as I listened. It was a director of a ministry to the homeless who shared that they had several who came into their ministry, and they would like to work with us.

Over the next couple of months it was amazing the group of people that God pulled together. Doctors, psychologist, ministers, people who all had the heart for hurting women. I shared with them my dream of a home and their excitement grew as they had recognized that there was no such facility like that in the city. I declared that I felt stuck, and that I could not move forward until I had a physical house. The director of the homeless ministry piped in and informed us that they had a 2 bedroom apartment that we could use for that ministry, and the story begins.

We spent the next 3-4 months working to make the place “a home” for women who were hurting. We had people donate furniture, paint, time, services, money, and we finally had our open house in December 2010. Welcome to Birdie’s Place Crisis Center.

Our first girl came to the Crisis Center in January of 2011. I’m not quite sure who was more touched, the girl (we will call Angel) or the staff called in to help her. Let me share with you the most awesome weekend, and the story of several dreams come true.

I got a call on a Thursday from a girl I had been working with to help her overcome her drug addiction. She was 30 days clean and had a prospect for Birdie’s Place that she wanted me to meet. Panic sat in…..I don’t know what I’m doing; I’m not ready-HELP! If you’ve ever been pregnant it doesn’t matter how overdue you are when that labor comes for real you think “I’m not ready.” I call my pastor and tell her I am ready to freak out, and I have no clue what I am doing. Thank God for wisdom from Godly leaders. She reassured me that I was anointed, that God had called me to this task, and that I was indeed ready. As she prayed with me I felt the peace of God fall on me. I went and met the girl, and we decide that should she choose to go I will pick her up on Saturday morning.

Saturday morning I picked up a small, frail 100 pound 19 year old heroin addict. As we get in the car she was full of questions, it’s not like jail is it? I can leave if I want right? I assured her she would be fine. I talked with her as we grocery shopped about the process once we got there. I shared with her that we would complete some paperwork and that I would be taking some photographs. I wanted to document her face, her arms where she had been shooting up, and any identifying tattoos or marks. I shared with her that I had a friend, someone I went to school with, church with, sang in the choir with, a friend that I spent many summer days with on the softball diamond with dying in a crack house. I shared that my friend’s mother had to go into that crack house and identify her daughter, and that I never wanted another mother to go through that pain. As we left the grocery store I decided that we would drive by the house that my friend died in. We pull up beside the house and just looked. Me, I was remembering a beautiful vibrant friend who died in that despicable place.

I decided that we would circle around the block. On this entire street there are only 3-4 legally inhabited homes. The others are boarded over, no door or windows, or being taken over by squatters. As stopped in the middle of the road I told Angel to look around. I just wanted her to see that if she did not change her life this is what she had to look forward to.

Angel had been clean for 20 days, but the first evening we met she used. As we got to the crisis center she met several new people, to which she was embraced, fed and tucked in for a little nap. Although she really did not have to go through a detox, she was feeling some of the affects.

She was informed before coming in that she would be required to attend church on Saturday evening. We arrived at church to lively music, and a warm atmosphere. The minister shared how we could dare to dream, and then a little about being an orphan spirit. As the ministry time began around the altar I asked if Angel would like to participate. As we stood and waited for our turn in a small voice she asked “what if I don’t fall down?” I assured her that it was not necessary and that by no means should she fall down just because she thought someone expected her to. She shared that her stomach was getting upset, and feeling nervous. I informed her that she was a living spirit that would live forever and that her body is temporary and just houses that spirit. I shared that her spirit is located in the abdomen part of your body, and what you are feeling as butterflies is your spirit recognizing God spirit, and that her spirit is excited about knowing that God is near. As the minister came to Angel he looked her in the eyes, and then he embraced her with the touch of the Father. As he held her they both wept. She remained on the floor silent for some time as she soaked in the presence of the love of the heavenly Father.

Prior to our return to the crisis center we stopped by a ministry that feeds the homeless. As she sat there she listened as she learned that there are those who live in tents, in the cold with nothing more than what they carry on their backs.

Upon return to the center she watched a video of another girl, a success story of a girl delivered from eating disorders, cutting, alcoholism, and sexual sin, and how Christ had made the difference in her life.

The next morning as we did our morning devotions I directed her to the scripture in John 1:12 “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. 13 They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.” I told her that she was now a new creature, and no longer the old Angel. She wrote in her journal how the new Angel is not addicted to heroin, the new Angel does not have sex with men for money, the new Angel is a good mother, does not put anything above her son. She gets it!

Following devotions we went on a field trip as we delivered meals to the elderly as part of Meals on Wheels. It was great for Angel to realize that she could minister and contribute to society.

After a time of service she was treated to her first ever experience of a Japanese steak house. To see the wide eyes as the flame is lit, and the excitement of watching her meal cooked before her. We were met by some friends as we ate lunch. Following the lunch they gave me a charm that they wanted to be given to Angel as she departed the crisis center.

Once back at the crisis center we were met with another new friend. This friend walked Angel through the SOZO program. It is amazing how someone so young and unlearned has no difficulty hearing and seeing God. She was not tainted by religion, so when instructed to ask God what he thinks of her, she shared that God told her He thinks she’s intelligent, and can get through anything. When instructed to close her eyes and ask Jesus where He is she shares that he is standing beside her. She shared that she saw a dividing wall with her and Jesus walking hand in hand on one side, and darkness and bad people on the other side. She then notices that she and Jesus are walking towards the light. She immediately opened her eyes in terror and asked if that meant that she was going to die. We shared with her that in the Word Jesus is referred to as the Light, and that he picture was a good thing. You see Angel had a fear of death. Twice in the past year Angel had died from drug overdoses, and brought back to life. She also shared that several months back she had a dream that she was laying in a casket. She saw her son being carried to the casket by his father, and the baby crying, reaching for his mother. We shared with her that we felt that was a warning dream, and really more like a vision of reality should she choose not to change her lifestyle.

As the day progressed several other people came in to share their stories, and how Christ had taken the ashes of their lives and created something of beauty. She listened intently as a woman of 40 something shared how she had run away from home at the age of 14, and how she had lived her life, nearly 30 years as a prostitute and dancer. It broke my heart, as I apologized to her in tears for not being there, and not being able to help her through those years. She assured me that we are there now, and that we will make a difference. She had the love of Christ, AA, and some loving women had helped her as she now married speaks and ministers to hurting women. To God be the Glory!

The last day had lots of surprises in store for all. The first new friend to come in that morning was a, what I thought to be a beautiful 40something, sweet, passive “church lady.” She shared with us her college days of alcohol, sexual partners, and how she had chosen to have a total of 3 abortions. Of how even when she shared with her husband, and others in a support group she lied about how many. She shared of how she ultimately became honest with herself and everyone else, and repented of the murder of her three precious babies, and how she now ministers to hurting women @ the pregnancy distress center, and survivors of abortion.

As the day progress Angel was blessed as someone ministered to her through a manicure and pedicure-her first ever. We giggled as her feet were tickled, and we oohed and awed over her new bright pink polish. In our world pink goes with everything!

Angel expressed after seeing the video of the GWA success story that she too wanted to make a video and share her story. I shared with her as she departed we would have her sign a release so we could share her story and pictures, and as a reward for her 20th birthday, 5 months away, we would put her story to film. And yes, we realized to an addict 5 months is a long term goal. I also assured her that we would change her name so she could remain anonymous. I can’t remember but I suggested a name, she quickly piped up that she wanted her name to be “Angel”; I don’t remember have any other thought besides “that’s a stupid name.” A few minutes passed and I gasped. I remember the angel charm that I was to give her upon her departure. I walked into the kitchen to meet the one who had given me the charm and asked if she had heard what name was chosen. As we looked into each other’s eyes she acknowledged that yes she had heard, and had been asking God if she should share her story. I informed her that I had not yet given the necklace, and that this was her sign from God to tell her story.

We gathered in the living room and I said you have one more story before you leave, she asked who, and I pointed in the direction of our friend. She quickly responded with “I didn’t know you had a story.”

Angel’s hair was still wet from her shower so we asked her to go get the blow dryer. I watched with such honor as her hair was blown dry with such love that only a mother can give. Once dry she was told to get the hairbrush so that her hair could be brushed. I watch as the story began a story of a mother with 2 sons and a daughter, and a hot summer day some 15 years ago. The mother told of a day spent at the pool and a drive home, you see mom pulled out into traffic and a tiny 4 year girl was thrown from the car. The mother told of how a beautiful little girl, with the same hair color and texture died from that tragic accident, and how had she lived would be the same age as our “Angel”. She told of how she had sold and gotten rid of all of her daughters belongings except the forgotten angel charm that now hung on the necklace she was being given as a reminder of her weekend. The mother shared how prior to her daughter dying she had been told by the Lord how she would be the mother to many daughters, but that at the death of her she had buried that dream, but that this young girl was indeed her angel and had taught her to dream again. As Angel rose to give the mother a hug, the mother hesitated, but asked instead that she sit on her lap. I watched as a mother and daughter reunited, and heard the mother say that for one brief moment she felt as if she were holding her own daughter again.

As the day came to a close we treated her again to an experience of a meal in a place she’d never been. She wept at the thought of going back to her world. I assured her, that in that 3 short days she had been given the keys to the kingdom, and that it was now up to her to walk the walk. She was given a list of the 10-15 people that she had met in 3 days, and the plan of action for the next several months.
So as you’re out there on your way and you see an angel, she may have just visited Birdie’s Place Crisis Center.

Girls in the Hood

What an awesome journey, at this point in my life.  For anyone dreading the years ahead, 50 ROCKS!  Just sayin'.

It's amazing how God works things out, and before we know it we're connected to an awesome group in the Franklinton/Hilltop area.  Exactly where God told me to be at this time in my life.

So I am amongst some shakers and movers, a group of people that God is calling to move mountains. 

Following one of those meetings I came home and did one of those "flip the Bible open" things. He is so faithful.  Following are the words, in the Bible, that describe exactly the prayer I have for, not only the west side of Columbus, but the entire inner city. Please share this prayer, proclamation with me. 

WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS!!!

Isaiah 29:17-21

And then before you know it,

and without you having anything to do with it,
Wasted Lebanon will be transformed into lush gardens,
and Mount Carmel reforested.  (you think God knew Mt Carmel Hospital was on the west side?)
At that time the deaf will hear
word-for-word what's been written.
After a lifetime in the dark,
the blind will see.
The castoffs of society will be laughing and dancing in God,
the down-and-outs shouting praise to The Holy of Israel.
For there'll be no more gangs on the street.
Cynical scoffers will be an extinct species.
Those who never missed a chance to hurt or demean
will never be heard of again:
Gone the people who corrupted the courts,
gone the people who cheated the poor,
gone the people who victimized the innocent.
22-24And finally this, God's Message for the family of Jacob,
the same God who redeemed Abraham:
"No longer will Jacob hang his head in shame,
no longer grow gaunt and pale with waiting.
For he's going to see his children,
my personal gift to him—lots of children.
And these children will honor me
by living holy lives.
In holy worship they'll honor the Holy One of Jacob
and stand in holy awe of the God of Israel.
Those who got off-track will get back on-track,
and complainers and whiners learn gratitude."

We're about "Changing the world-one girl at a time". Won't you help?

The Road Less Traveled

So I just came across this commencement address given by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple to the Stanford graduates in 2005.  Lots of good stuff, and I thought I would share.  Enjoy!!

Thank you. I'm honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college and this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation.

Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first six months but then stayed around as a drop-in for another eighteen months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife, except that when I popped out, they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking, "We've got an unexpected baby boy. Do you want him?" They said, "Of course." My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college.

This was the start in my life. And seventeen years later, I did go to college, but I naïvely chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and no idea of how college was going to help me figure it out, and here I was, spending all the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out, I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms. I returned Coke bottles for the five-cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example.

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer was beautifully hand-calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and sans-serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me, and we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts, and since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them.

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on that calligraphy class and personals computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do.

Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.

My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky. I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was twenty. We worked hard and in ten years, Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4,000 employees. We'd just released our finest creation, the Macintosh, a year earlier, and I'd just turned thirty, and then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew, we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so, things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge, and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our board of directors sided with him, and so at thirty, I was out, and very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure and I even thought about running away from the Valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me. I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I'd been rejected but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods in my life. During the next five years I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world's first computer-animated feature film, "Toy Story," and is now the most successful animation studio in the world.

In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT and I returned to Apple and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance, and Lorene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful-tasting medicine but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life's going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle.

My third story is about death. When I was 17 I read a quote that went something like "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important thing I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life, because almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctors' code for "prepare to die." It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next ten years to tell them, in just a few months. It means to make sure that everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope, the doctor started crying, because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and, thankfully, I am fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept. No one wants to die, even people who want to go to Heaven don't want to die to get there, and yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It's life's change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. right now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it's quite true. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalogue, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stuart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late Sixties, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras. it was sort of like Google in paperback form thirty-five years before Google came along. I was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stuart and his team put out several issues of the The Whole Earth Catalogue, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-Seventies and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath were the words, "Stay hungry, stay foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. "Stay hungry, stay foolish." And I have always wished that for myself, and now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay hungry, stay foolish.

Thank you all, very much.

I See Through The Glass Dimly

Ok, so are you tired of listening to the what's going on in the world of Girls with Attitude!? 

 If not, read on....this is my life.

I have been carrying this dream in my heart for 3 years now.  OK, so it only becomes a vision when, according to Habakkuk 2:2-3, you write it down and make it plain. 

So I've had this seed planted inside of me to help these "girls", and I've struggled.  I've struggled with how to get this "out of me" and into the hearts of others.  I can sit in a room of people, share the dream, and the room comes alive with excitement, and everyone is ready to jump on board.....but I've missed a step.

Read with me Habakkuk 2:2-3  “ Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.

3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry." Did you catch it?  Here's what I've been missing...."that he may run who reads it".  I have to write my vision down, not only for me, but so that others can read it and run with it.  DUH!!!  This is not a one man show......I have to share this vision, and allow others to run along side me in the race. 

Me, me, me, my, my, my, mine, mine, mine......ok, I hear you now.  That is for my wonderful friends who have walked with me from the beginning.  Thank you for walking beside me when I wasn't quite ready to run.  Thank you for staying though we were looking through the glass dimly.  I promise it is getting clearer.

If you are ready to see this thing through with me, let's run this race together.

I will be attending some training classes in August, to deal with victims of trauma, I think this is a good place to start.

Thanks for loving me, and for much grace that I have been given.

IN HIS SERVICE!

Grandma Cindi

The Faith of a Child

What is it they say about the faith of a child? Let me share a story with you.


My 6 year-old granddaughter Lanie had been asking mommy and daddy for a dog. Besides all the obvious questions about care and responsibility, daddy asks “and how are you going to pay for this dog?” Her answer was simply “my grandma will buy it, cause she buys me everything”.

I can’t really argue the point, besides this is the one who said, “Oh grandma, I knew I could count on you” because I made her the snack she likes.

Needless to say those grandkids can get a hold on you…. ok, back to the dog.

So Lanie starts talking to me about wanting a dog. I told her to sow a seed for a dog. So she wanted to know how you do that. I tell her take your money and put it in the offering at church and say “God I want a dog”. So that’s what she does.

The following week I am headed out of town to a women’s conference when the person sitting besides me mentions that her friend is giving away a 3 year-old dog. I immediately spoke up and said I would take it.

Following the women’s conference the grandkids were coming to spend the night. So we picked up the kids and I asked Lanie if she sowed her seed for the dog. She said “yeah, but it don’t work, cause I don’t got no dog”. So I explain to her that when you plant a seed you have to give it time to sprout and grown, and then I asked her “how long do you think it takes to grow a dog?”

On the way home I tell them I have to go to my friend’s house for a minute. When I came out I had the dog in the cage. Oh if you could have seen those big eyes, as she says, “he’s perfect”.

Now we all know that every good and perfect gift is from above. Well this gifts name is Buckeye, and he is perfect.
We now have a shared parenting agreement with Buckeye. For the most part he lives at Lanie’s house, but every now and then he gets to spent the night with grandma. The things we do for love.

I'll Call Her Eve

When you begin on a journey, you’re never quite sure where the road will take you.

I started on my journey with women and girls about eight years ago. What began as a small group with some “church ladies” has evolved into something else, and has now become a passion burning in me. Simply doing life, and watching as women’s lives transform can become quite addicting. I want to share just one of those stories with you.

I will call her Eve. This is not her real name, but the name I have chosen for her. Hers is just the first of many stories to come.

As is often the case, I received a call from someone saying “Here’s the name of a girl I think you can help.” Although I’m never quite sure what that means, I’m always willing to step into it.

So I make the phone call and schedule a meeting with Eve for the following evening.
As I walk into a small, modest home, I am greeted by a 23-year-old woman and her boyfriend. Eve is a very pretty girl -- a little thin -- but I see nothing that sets off red flags.

We begin a conversation. Just small talk as we try to get a feel for each other. At one point Eve asks her boyfriend to leave, and I think, “Ok, now we’re going to get to the point.”

Eve begins to tell me her story, and my heart begins to ache as she relates horrific tales for such a short life. Eve shares stories of sexual abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, rape, suicide, drug overdoses, and death. At one point she shared with me that she is on disability because of a heinous rape and attack she suffered several years back, which left her with a broken pelvis and legs. I sat on her sofa and wept with her as she relived these memories. Next…Eve tells me that she is an addict. She begins listing various drugs, many of which I have no knowledge.

At one point I looked at her and said “I know you think I see someone who is desperate and despondent, but really what I see is a success story. The fact that you have come to this point at age 23, -- and not 33, 43 or 53 -- is a huge step, and I am so proud of you.”

Eve’s mother comes into the room and introduces herself. She tells Eve that she and her grandparents are also proud of her. Immediately Eve shoots a glare at her mother and replies, “And they’re all drug addicts.”

Eve shares with me that she has memories she cannot forget.

I respond, “There are some memories you should never forget. The fact that your father died from an overdose -- and the fact that your 12 year-old sister, who you helped get started on drugs, also died from an overdose – are things you should not forget.”

And then Eve throws out that there are things of which she can’t be forgiven. I ask, “Like what?” She proceeds to tell me that she has not only had her body stolen from her, but that she has also at times sold it for drug money.

Ok, I’ve been referred to Eve by a pastor. So, how does a “church lady” respond to this question?

My response was “and I’ve given it away, so which is worse?” I know that is not the “church lady” response, but I cannot touch a girl unless I am willing to be transparent, and stoop down and sit with her in the dirt. Besides, who doesn’t have things in their life that has made them feel unforgivable or unlovable?

Eve and I continue talking, and together decide that her best chance for success is to enter detox. She registers to enter the hospital for treatment the following week. Knowing that the weekend is coming up, which can be a vulnerable time, I suggest we spend some time together.

We meet up Sunday morning and head over to the YMCA to work out. We enjoy a nice lunch and see a movie together. To most girls this is just a typical day out with a girlfriend. But not for Eve. At the end of the day, as we approach her house, she begins to cry. She doesn’t want to go home. I see that vulnerable little eight-year-old girl who’s still afraid of the dark. I take her home, give her a hug, tell her that I love her, and ask her to stay in touch.

That night my telephone makes a little noise alerting me that I have a text message. What I am about to read breaks my heart, but at the same time fuels my passion.

The message is from Eve. She asks, “Will you be my mom? I have found such peace and comfort in you that I have never had in my life.”

How does a person respond to that?

I begin to ask myself what I did to earn such admiration? How can such simple gestures change someone’s life?

I respond, “How about if I become your “Grandma Cindi?”

That first meeting with Eve took place 17 months ago. We have gone through several battles in the last year.

Eve suffered a relapse -- to which I didn’t do anything but love her through it. I told her that we all fall sometimes. I encouraged her to “just get back up.” And she did. We also mourned a miscarriage -- one of several in her life. But I’m so proud to tell you she went through that pain with no drugs or alcohol. THAT IS A MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

But . . . let me share with you where Eve is today.
Eve is:

● 25 years old

● Clean and sober for 14 months

● Leading AA/NA classes

● Leading others in rehab

● Pregnant
In my book Eve is the success I saw sitting on a sofa in her modest house more than a year ago. To see a strong, vibrant young lady, with bright blue eyes and bulging belly -- well that makes me a proud grandma. Wait -- soon I will be a GREAT grandma.

Oh, and guess who gets to be her coach in the delivery room. Her ‘Grandma Cindi” of course.

This is just one example of what Girls with Attitude! is all about. Changing the world --one girl at a time. Eve was a great success, but very rarely can you take an addict from a crack house, clean her up, and send her back. She needs a safe and stable environment where she can grow and thrive. That is why we are currently looking to purchase “Grandma Cindi’s House.”

There are lots of Eve’s out there, just waiting to be loved.

Girls with Attitude! is a 501c3 organization, and all donations are tax deductible.

What's a Grandma's House?

As I am sharing more and more the passion of Grandma Cindi's House, I keep getting the question

"What is a Grandma's House?"

Close your eyes and remember what it was like as a child when you went to visit grandma.  Can you smell the cookies in the oven?  Taste that yummy hot meal?  Do you remember crawling into the nice clean sheets?  Taking a bath on a chilly day and being wrapped in a big fluffy towel? Saying your prayers at bedtime?

Now I do realize that was not the memory that everyone has of grandma's house, but it should be.

Well, that's what we are trying to create at Grandma Cindi's House.  There are girls of all ages who have been left, sometimes on the streets to fend for themselves, and they have survived by any means possible.  Those are the girls who need a grandma's house.  Remember how your grandma loved you no matter what?

GCH will be a place where we can celebrate, empower, mentor and love these girls into the wonderful woman God created them to be.  This would be a temporary facility where the girls could come get a meal, take a shower, crawl in clean sheets for a little while, and just feel safe.

We're hoping to offer services such as free clothing, free food, counseling, job opportunities, AA/NA meetings, Bible studies, all in a place where they will not be judged.

I hope that your memories were jogged just a little, and that you would be interested in backing this venture.

We are just now in the process of looking for that perfect "home" for Grandma Cindi's House.  We are feeling the urge to place this in the Hilltop area of Columbus Ohio, and hope to handle 6-10 girls at any given time.

So....how can you help?  First you can hold this whole assignment up in prayer, and be in faith that we will be given favor on our home purchase....they tell me it's a buyers market.  In the meantime, you can go online at http://www.girlswithattitude.org/ and make a donation.  As we get closer we will need people to help get the house ready to move in, we'll need furniture, household items....well, just about everything.  Once open, we'll need volunteers to assist.  Well, are you ready to take a trip to Grandma Cindi's House?  Oh yeah, and the name...well this home does not belong to Grandma Cindi, it belongs to all of us girls out there with an attitude.  You know who you are.

Remember that Girls with Attitude! is a 501c3 organization, and all gifts are tax deductible.

Dream Interpretation

Ok, some of my friends who are more advanced interpreted the dream from the last post.

Here is the dream interpretation.

"Yes, I think you're on track. This is probably a calling/encouragement dream.

Yes, the dreamer is the focus. Remember Moms can sometimes rep the Holy Spirit, but the way Cindi loses her composure is a hint that it's probably more about her literally.

This dream is a validation that the ministry they're planning and hoping for is really God's idea, and He will provide both the people and the resources to see it happen.

Also, like you said, she will find that her past victories give her greater authority to minister to those struggling with similar issues.

The parking garage...Well if cars rep our lives and vocations, then when you're parked, you're waiting. The number 4 is God's creative works, like the 4 seasons, 4 directions, etc. But it can also point to cyclical issues, which makes a lot of sense here....people caught in negative cycles that keep them from moving forward in life.

500 pizzas-- You know that 5 means grace, but it also speaks directly to receiving what you need. Pretty cool.

Anytime there is a "voice" telling you something in a dream, you must pay special attention to it.

They're really excited about this potential ministry, but God is clearly saying that while they should prepare and get ready, they are not to move out in it until God says so. You can feel the weight on it, especially since He spoke it at both the beginning and end of the dream Pretty cool stuff...

So I know patience is your strong suite, but be still and wait for the Lord and everything will work out.

Good luck Girls!!!!!!

Thank you to Grace and Kendra for this GOD/GOOD word.

What's in a Dream?

For the past 7 months I have been a conference/seminar junkie.  One of my favorite workshops was on dream interpretation.  It's interesting that as our body slumbers, the brain just keeps on going, and going, and going. 

So they tell us our dreams are full of symbols, and hidden meanings.  Ok, so a couple days ago a friend emails me a dream she had about me.  So I get to thinking, what is a dream?  What does it mean?  Allow me to share the dream with you....and I can't wait to see how you interpret the dream.

Here goes-

"So I kept hearing this voice that was saying over and over don't make a move till I instruct you. Ok not a problem. So when given permission you and I went to what was suppose to be the hilltop to case the area and familiarize ourselves with some of the locals things were totally different then we had suspected. We parked the car and started to walk the streets and turned the corner where there was this lawn area and wall with a bunch I mean a bunch of people. So we walked thru the crowd and saw all different kinds of people, a women who so strung out she was passed out and her child was in a hole deathly ill and others were tending to him. There was this parking garage like structure 4 stories high and so we started to walk thru there. This place was just packed with people on top of people who had no food or water. It was like poor african nations in a parking garage structure. So spotted this little boy who was totally malnutritioned and you could not compose yourself right away. You got yourself together, grabbed me by the arm and we left and went to this Dominos Pizza shop by where we parked the car. You looked at the guy and said I need to order 500 pizzas I don't care the cost. He was taken back by surprise. He had to call all the stores to start making this large amount you requested. As we got the pizzas we would take and distribute it to the children and they would have this look on their face of complete happiness and joy for they knew that was pizza they were tasting. I was out in the street when they made a huge delivery and a bunch of college kids came by and tried to take off with the order and after talking to them I convinced them to get over their selfish ways and help. There attitude by the end had changed drastically. People were coming off the streets to help us feed the children and families. The amount of people was so large we had to place another order. People continued to come and help and tend to these people. We are talking like 2:30am we were doing this. Just to see the smile on their faces was emotional for both of us.


> I was up in this area where there were girls who wanted to eat but they got used to not eating and so they didn't want the fat of the pizza. I sat down and talked with a few of them and told the one who was majorly struggling I understand, she looked at me like yeah right. I walked away and came back and said ok now lets do this. Explained about the nutrition and the feeling of food etc. So I explained to her my past situation and struggles and she was able to eat. After taking a bite she was so amazed of how good it actually tasted and she was just all smiles from there.

> My alarm went off at this point and tried to not leave the dream I wanted to see the ending but I couldn't get back there. But again I kept hearing I will tell you when to move. Be ready.But not till I say. "

Well, what do you think?

Angels

First just let me say that grandkids are AWESOME! 

There's nothing better than snuggling in the bed with a child who loves the Lord as much as she loves her grandma.  (FYI-that's a lot)

Peanut aka Olivia, has seen awesome visions of angels.  Last night as we were just getting ready to drift off to sleep we said our prayers.  As always she asked that she would have dreams, and see angels. 

I hear her over there whispering, but can't quite figure out what she's saying.  She then informs me that she just saw an angel.  Grandma then begins to ask questions.  Really?  What did it look like? 

That's where the description began.  "She has on a white dress, brown hair, a blue and pink necklace. The necklace had 2 bumble bees on it, and they had happy faces. She was holding 2 roses, and a yellow crystal."

I then told Peanut to ask her what her name is. After another brief conversation, Peanut says her name is Carissa. This morning I looked up the name Carissa.

Following is the meaning of that name:

The girl's name Carrisa \c(a)-rri-sa\ is a variant of Carissa (Greek), and the meaning of Carrisa is "grace".

How cool is that?

My advice?  I am beginning to think that if I need an answer to a problem, or feel I'm not quite hearing from God.....I'm going straight to a kid.....they seem to have a straight line to the throne.

Through the Door

Have you ever heard something that just went straight to your very core? 

Last week on my way to work, while listening to David Jeremiah, I had that very feeling.  As soon as I arrived at work I pulled up his website, listened again, and then ordered the book he was quoting from.

Let me share.

Taken from the book "What Christ Thinks of the Church" written by John Stott.

"Christ has the keys.  He opens the doors.  There is no sense trying to barge our way unceremoniously through doors which are still closed.  We have to wait for him to make openings for us.  Damage is continually being done to the cause of Christ by brash or tactless testimony.  It is of course right to seek to win for Christ our friends, relatives, neighbors, and colleagues.  But we are sometimes in a greater hurry than God.  Instead, we need to be patient, pray hard, and love much, and wait expectantly for the God-given opportunity to witness.
The same principle applies to any uncertainty we may have about God's will for our future.  Probably more mistakes are made by speed than by sloth, by impatience than by delay.  God's purposes often ripen slowly.  If the door is shut, it is foolish to put our shoulder to it.  We must wait til Christ takes out the key and opens it."

So...while I'm waiting, I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will not faint, I'll be running the race....even while I wait.

What can I do at the Waffle House?

The heart is such a fickle thing. At times when we least expect it, something will pull our heartstrings, and we're never the same.

One evening last fall I found myself in a Waffle House late at night. I know, it's past my bedtime, and what was I doing there?....greasy food, of course.

As I sat there that night I kept watching girls coming in and out. I saw the faces, the hollow eyes, and our hearts connected. I just somehow "knew" what they were doing, and I felt for them.

For the past three years I have loved, spent my time, and been drawn to the girls who feel that no one else really loves, or even wants them.

Whether their addiction be drugs, alcohol, men, food, whatever, it's never really mattered.
I have... picked them up at bars.
I have...been to their homes in the middle of the night.
I have...held their hand as they puked.
I have...gone to AA.
I have...talked them through detox.
I have...comforted following an abortion.
I have conforted following a miscarriage...but mostly I have LOVED them.

So following my late night pig out at the Waffle House I just keep thinking "what can I do at Waffle House?" Do I just show up until they notice I'm there? Do I talk to the manager? How do I just show up and love on them?

I've not quite figured out the answer, but I'm feeling like making a middle of the night run for some greasy food. Anyone want to go?

Do you mourn?

Last week the following email showed up in my inbox. I forwarded the email to my pastor, along with a few friends who have a heart for the village I live in. Please allow me to share the email with you.

Mourning for Your CityTGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman03-24-2008
"When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven" (Neh 1:4).
Nehemiah lived in the world of politics. He was a high ranking worker in the government of Babylon. His official title was cupbearer for King Artazerzes. He would be considered the modern-day U.S. Secret Service agent who made sure the King was safe from being poisoned.
Judah had been driven into exile and some of his friends had just returned with news about his fellow brothers and sisters in Jerusalem.
In the month of Kislev in the twentieth year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, 2 Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem. They said to me, "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire" (Neh 1:1-3).
Nehemiah's response upon hearing the news is the kind of response that is necessary for a Christian leader to impact his or her city. He responded by weeping for the condition of his beloved city. He immediately went into prayer and asked for God's direction on how he could be a positive impact on his city. He developed a strategy to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. He accomplished the task in only fifty-two days.
Do you weep for your city? God is calling forth men and women from the marketplace today to be catalyst to impact their cities. Begin today to pray for your city and ask God how you can be a catalyst to rebuild the spiritual wall of your city.
So this email got me thinking, do I mourn over my village? Do we mourn over lost people? Do we mourn over a lost nation?

I forwarded this email last Monday morning to a few people, and shared that I felt we should set aside time to fast and pray for our village, I also expressed an interest in the names of our city council. Within an hour I not only had names of the council members, but also the drug dealers in town. You see up to this point our county sheriff has not been too interested in cleaning up my village-dealers have to go somewhere, so let it be here. Do you believe that prayer, and "mourning for your city" changes things? YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT!! In the past week the sheriff and state highway patrol have spent several days in town, with over a dozen arrests. Did this all just happened? I don't think so.

The Word tells us we are salt and light to the world. How can we ever imagine changing a world if we're not willing to mourn for our little village?

Take a few minutes and ask God who, or what, would he have you mourn over-it could be a village, it could be the homeless, it could be those dying with AIDS....our calling is always to a person or people. Find your passion, and share Christ with the world.

I'm Pregnant!!!

I just know that this will be the most read, or at least most opened blog I have sent to date. But let me set the record straight-I am not pregnant with a baby, but this email is in response to the questions that I have been asked, or maybe you've been asked about Girls with Attitude! I, like the pregnant woman don't know all the answers, I just know that God is at work.

God is still birthing GWA in me. By that I mean that it is not yet born to completion.

Just as a woman who is pregnant, I can't really tell you yet what GWA is, but I can tell you some things it is not.

So how does one get pregnant? We know that answer, by not using protection. Search yourself, are you using protection? Is your heart so guarded, have you built up walls that God could not penetrate and birth something in you? If you've been hurt in the past maybe you are afraid to open yourself up to the Lord's touch, to his love, and you just think it's not worth the risk.

I made a decision to bare my life and my soul to the Lord, and I told Him that everything was up for grabs, that I did not want to hold on to anything too tightly that I would miss what He might want to birth from me. Now does God always pick the best momma's to give birth? No! But He in His vast wisdom knows what he is doing, and I have to trust in that.

Having given myself freely to the Lord, and asking Him to do what He will in my life, that means risking morning sickness (those days when you just don't want to get out of bed) stretch marks, and a painful birth. I am willing to share with him to birth this vision. I do recall a time last year when I heard the Lord speak to me, as only he can, and I heard Him say to me "you are chosen".

Now that the egg is fertilized, and I am pregnant with the vision I can tell you that this precious little baby is not an "it"; GWA is not religious, but it is a ministry. I don't know yet the gender of the baby (OK, I'm guessing it's a girl) but I know that GWA is about loving people. There are things I don't know, and then there are things that I do know.

I don't know how much the baby will weigh, but I do know it will come to full term. I don't know how big GWA will be, it may be a single birth, twins or triplets, it may some day cover the nation, but as it is just been conceived I don't know how big the blessing is.

God has birthed this vision of GWA in me, and it is something that no one else quite understands. There are always questions, aren't you past the age of being used by the Lord, isn't your time past? Have you forgotten your past? and then there are many who are excited. They look forward with anticipation to "seeing" the baby, they've seen my involvement before, and they've enjoyed the fruits of my labor. But again, this is hard for them to understand when they don't feel the stirring in their soul, they don't feel the stretching, the cramping, the discomfort, or the pains of childbirth. Only God knows when the baby will be at full term, it is all in HIS timing.

In the meantime I need a lot of nursemaids. Some "girls" who will walk the floors with me, comfort me through the sleepless nights, put up with my terrible mood swings and cravings, share with me when I am emotional, pray for me, and just be a friend and listen through the process. Anyone willing to take that journey with me? Think back in your mind and remember the last pregnant woman you came across, or remember yourself when you were pregnant. Do you dare take on this task?

Everybody loves a baby, they want to hold it, cuddle it, and love it, but no one wants to get up in the middle of the night to take care of it. No one wants to change the dirty diapers, no one likes the smell of spit up. But the one who births doesn't seem to mind, or even notice.

Honestly all babies are not pretty, but the one giving birth just knows it will be the most beautiful creature they've ever seen. And the Father, though distant, not quite as attached, knows that he has been a part and without him there would be nothing. This is his heir, his namesake.

I promise that when the baby comes I will let you share in it. I will let you hold it, nurture it, feed it and even carry it at times. But right now it is a personal journey, it is my time to share with God in creation. Unless you've felt that fire in your belly-you just don't understand.

Have you ever felt you HAD TO do something? I have to do this, as much as I have to breath. I did not plan the pregnancy, I did not plant the vision, but I am willing to carry it to full term.

The one thing I do know is I will not abort the vision that God has placed in me. I know it will be inconvenient, there will be sleepless nights, there will be discomfort, but as difficult as it may be, I will not abort.

If you dare, ask God to birth something new in you!!

The scripture tells us that "He who began a good work in you will finish it unto completion"....thank you for coming along on the journey.

Now I must go share the contents of this blog with my husband Dan lest he open his inbox tomorrow at work and end up on the floor.

When you've done it to the least of these.....

I trust all is well as we enter into the month of February, the month of LOVE! So when is the last time you loved someone who is considered unlovable?

Let me tell you about our latest encounter. So during our 21 day fast we felt God calling us to begin to minister to our community of 300 people, which means we leave our home church full of friends we love to move to a small little village church of the nicest 35 people you've ever met.

So this Sunday was our second Sunday at the little church. I noticed a little girl clinging to some people, and you could just tell she was very needy. Maybe it was the dirty t-shirt and unkept hair, but you could tell she was a little girl pretty much raising herself.

At the end of the service she stormed out the door, refused a ride home, and said she was never coming back because someone hurt her feelings. Haven't we all had our feelings hurt by church people in the past? So as we were driving home we drove right past her, we stopped and asked if she wanted a ride home but she refused. So I decided that I would walk home with her. Very noble of me, but in the back of my mind I was thinking-if you befriend this little girl she will drive you crazy, she will know where you live, she will be parked on your front door step. But it was a beautiful day and I decided to take the chance.

So as I got out of the car and began to walk with her (in my brand new boots, no less, that were killing my feet) her first question to me was why did you get out of the car. I told her that I just felt she was upset and thought that maybe I could help. At that comment she just took off running. Oh great, here I am walking home, my feet are killing me, I don't have a cell phone to call for a ride, a lot of good that act of kindness did me!

The next act was odd, she was carrying a box of valentines, and dropped one, of course I assumed it was for me. The valentine read "Best Friends". As she watched me read the valentine her pace slowed down and she waited for me. She proceeded to tell me that she was really upset because her cat she'd had since she was 2 years old got hit by a car yesterday. You see not only did she love the cat, but it belonged to her mother whom she only gets to see every other weekend.

Well the little girl ended up walking me home, came into the house to play with a couple of the grandkids, and stayed for lunch. She commented what a big lunch, and how we had A LOT of chicken. My heart was a little sad when she left, and a scripture kept going over in my head.....Jesus was speaking and said "For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home.....when you've done it unto the least of these, you've done it unto me".

Oh yeah, and I forgot one detail. The pastor of the little church sent me an email this week and told me that, not even knowing us, she had sat in the park next door to our house and prayed for help. While looking at our house she prayed to the Lord and said "if those people are supposed to me at my church send them, if not bless them wherever they are".

How awesome to be exactly where God wants you to be....it's a good feeling.

As always if you need anything-just call or email, I am here to serve the Lord through serving you.

In HIS Service!!

Open My Eyes

OK, so here we are in 2008 ready to go into the month of February. Have you succeeded at your New Year's resolutions so far, or have you forgotten them already?

We are through with our 21 day fast, already through the month of January, and what have we accomplished at this point? Have we grown in our relationship with the Lord? How about our relationship with others?

The GWA Advisory Board met again this past week, and we are trying to complete the calendar for the year. Not only are we trying to schedule celebrations, and opportunities for us to have fun together, but also areas that we can serve-not only each other, but our communities. He decided that every event will be some kind of fundraiser. Whether that means bringing a canned food item to pay your admission, gathering schools supplies for children, or asking for donations, because we are here to serve others.

The first celebration of the year will be our Spring Break, we're still gathering details, but watch for the invitation. The one thing I can promise you is that we will have FUN!!

I mentioned that we are here to serve, how do we do that in our every day life? And are we making a difference by serving?

I have to admit that there are times that I think I'm all that, and can save the world, but in reality am I faithful in the little things? I think that every day God gives each of us opportunities to serve, and to make a difference in the lives of others-but do we really do that? Why do I feel bothered because the mother with her screaming kids are in line IN FRONT OF ME at the store? Why do I cut off the other driver because I am in so much of a hurry to get to church? Why do I let the call go to voice mail because I don't want to deal with a difficult customer? Why do I rush into church and sit down so no one will bother me?

In the email last week I spoke of all the changes in my life at this time. I've realized that while I am running to and fro "all in the name of God and good" I am missing God moments and opportunities to be faithful in the small things, so I am going to make some changes. I am going to ask God every morning to open my eyes to those around me, to make me more like the Good Samaritan and show me those people who are hurting and naked. And while I'm at it I'm going to ask him to help me to be less self-centered, and more willing to touch those I come in contact with. Are you willing to pray that same prayer with me? Drop me a line and let me know how that's going.

We can make a difference in the lives of others, and we do-both positive and negative.
As always if you need anything-just call or email, I am here to serve the Lord through serving you.

In HIS Service!!

Change is Good?

What a beautiful Sunday morning! I sit here at my computer listening to the silence; hearing nothing but the crackling of the fire in the fireplace. As I sit here it feels as if all is well with the world, and then reality crashes in.

Have you ever had that time when you feel as if everything in your life is changing, when nothing is safe from change? That is the place where Dan & I have found ourselves.

As I entered into the 21 day fast I asked the Lord to search my heart, and told him that everything is up for grabs, that there is nothing in my life that I am not willing to give up to have that personal relationship, and to be what He would have me to be.

Now that all sounds well and good, but there are lots of changes going on in our lives right now. Everything from our jobs to our family relationships seem to be in transition. Some things are obviously good, for example getting to establish a relationship with a granddaughter we had not seen in almost 2 years, but other changes seem to create fear, and lots of "what ifs" in our lives.

What if I take that new position at work and can't pay my bills? Since Dan's company has been bought out what if he gets laid off? What if we invest time, effort and energy in GWA and people don't like it, or me? What if....what if....what if?

In small group we are studying the book of Philippians and I am reminded of the scripture we discussed last week that says "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion". Other scriptures that flood my mind are "God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind" "He who is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than you could ever ask or imagine".

As those scriptures flood my mind I feel God comfort me, and His peace wash over me as I recall the scripture in Romans where Paul shares with us " All things work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".

Jesus told his disciples "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me". I think what He was saying to us here is don't get your cross cemented in the ground, don't get too attached to where you are because at any time we need to be able to pull up stakes and follow wherever He is leading us.

Are you willing to follow? Trust me, it will be the ride of your life-and remember: "He who is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than you could ever ask or imagine".